For ever so long I have took solace in settling for the love of my poetic enthrallment. I believed lesser words could wrap up my bigger issues. I still strongly believe that.
But, I will resort to writing a purpose today. A seeking. With as much elaboration as possible.
P.S. I hope a little bit of humor is okay with you, and no this isn’t about an alien invasion.
Like everybody else, well, most of us. For 9 months I lived alone, in utter darkness. Having no idea of the fact that I could never be more safe and protected than I was.Was I scared? Was I even aware? No Idea.
I managed to get out, eventually. Did I want to? Was I aware of my changing citizenship? Of course, no. Humans five times the size of me, all trying to get a hold of me. To be honest, I would be scared if I went through the same scenario again. Dead scared.
I grew 1x larger than earlier. Nope. Humans were still 4x larger than I was, and this time, feeding me with stuff I’m not even sure I like. Well, at this point there is no escaping anyway, right?
I kept growing. I didn’t know how to stop that process. So, I left it to the universe. Alert: I did not know what the word, “The Universe” meant at that age. I was probably three. If you’re thinking whether I knew arithmetic. Nope. I didn’t know that either.
I settled. I had to. To the world, I was brought into, brought up in. I started acknowledging people, tough job, believe me. I mean people apart from the wonderful woman who loved me, my mother.
But, she preferred sending me away to this horrible place. For 6 hours a day. Just to be with people who weren’t double my size.Finally, right? No, not a good thing.
I was upset with my mother for letting me go. “How could she do this to me?”. She did it anyway, later I learnt it was twice as hard for her to let me go than it was for me. She did it anyway.
I started liking school. Yeah, that’s what it was called. Silly, right? I found friends. Friends are people who you meet by accident and then decide to stick to them, completely random. It’s super cool.
I had to leave that place. Yes. The School. After 12 years of long um, suffering, they just let me go. I didn’t want to. At all. I cried. But, I gave up.
What I did not realise was I was being sent to this place called “college”. I loved college.I found friends, they just had different faces. Same people. But soon, they kicked me out of that place too! “This has got to stop!”.
Scared. Apprehensive. Same things. Oops. But, the fear of the unknown has been haunting me since forever. Change. That’s the word humans use. After all these “unknowns”, you’d think I would get used to this. You’re right. I would.
To conclude my bantering I would say, Our lives are nothing but a sum of wonderful “unknowns”. Believe me, they are wonderful. Make them wonderful. Mr.Universe out there, apologies, it could also be a Ms.Universe out there, is one cheery little being. She says she likes to surprise us. No wonder, right?